IM STARTING TO THINK ABOUT NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS

almost every year i make new years resolutions. i usually never keep them. so why make them you might ask? i like the feeling of starting over anew! i start out with such high aspirations! i want it to make me really do some soul searching this year! ive bought several books about what to do with the rest of your life when you are facing the empty nest. i even bought an 8 week workbook to figure it out! maybe i will have to delay the resolutions until i finish the workbook. thats ok though because i want to come up with some really good ones that i feel are attainable and that will be really worthwhile! i need to make even longer range goals too. that is what is lacking in my life right now. ive known this for a while but just havent done anything about it! i think maybe i have just figured out what my new years resolution should be! to set goals for the rest of my life! this blogging thing isnt just idle chatter! its almost as good as a therapist and a lot cheaper!

THE BABIES ARE GONE

Its sad but it's true- yes, the babies are gone! I keep wondering why I don't hear their sweet voices and then I remember "oh yea, they're gone!" I just hear Megan's giggling! (and I love it don't get me wrong! I miss that whenever she is gone, too! ) Oliver is back to giving kisses now! He is SO darling and he says the cutest, but very intelligent, things! Gabriella still gives her juicy, open-mouthed kisses and I love them! The juicier the better!!!! I miss hearing her say "snack" all the time! (and everytime she sees food thats what she says! Even on tv!) We went out to eat before they left and Oliver said "After we eat, we go back to Meme and Pepe's house?" I wanted to cry! Mandy and Matt say that he loves to come here! They said he was much more excited about coming to our house than he was about christmas! He was counting the days! Matt said that if we were trying to make our house a place where grandkids liked to come we had succeded!
In case you are wondering why my writing is so much more formal, I have been informed by my eldest daughter that if I would capitalize, use proper punctuation, and use paragraphs my blog would be so much easier to read! She also said that it makes her not want to read it without these things. I told her that that is my style! e.e. cummings was a famous poet and he didn't even capitalize! i told her i would give it a try. So what do all of you think? Does it make it SO much harder to read my blog the way it was before that you don't want to read it? Personally I like it the way it was before and if you don't want to read it that way, well.....(a word I use all the time and get a lot of grief about it from my daughters) don't read it! What about the rest of you?

THE FUN CONTINUES

travis and megan got here this afternoon so well have a week of fun with them now! this christmas thing is lasting for a long time this year and i love it! the grandbabies have to go home tommorrow but i have loved every minute of having them here!!! i will hate to see them go as usual! we have been to the mall the last 3 days! everyday since christmas! thats what my girls and i do when we get together! shop! like mother like daughters! i do the same thing when i get together with my sisters so i guess its a generational thing! the men are still playing wii and the women too when we are home. steve has bought 2 new wii games already! we arent gone shopping that much of the time like it sounds. actually the men went with us 2 of the days. they just went to different stores of course. if i never have to go into another computer store it will be too soon! not that i dont like computers its just that i dont like shopping for them and their stuff. i also hate going to home depot although i always seem to find things that i like there. its just the thought of going to a home improvement store that gets to me. gotta go get some sleep. im getting up with gabby in the morning so her parents can sleep in. they have a long drive ahead of them back to dallas tommorrow! also thay wanted to stay up tonight and spend as much time with megan and travis as possible.

THE DAY AFTER

today we just kind of lounged around, relaxed, and played with our toys. we all went out to saltgrass in the evening with matt's (natalie's husband) mom, stepdad, and his stepdads dad. natalie and matt are going home tonight. the rest of us are doing different things. the kids are in bed, steve is on the wii, the others are watching psyche, and i guess you can figure out what im doing. im not sure what the plans are for tommorrow. travis and megan will come on sunday. they will be here for a week. we are looking forward to that!

OUR CHRISTMAS

christmas was really nice!!! we enjoyed the family being here SO much!! everyone got a lot of nice presents! oliver actually got tired of opening presents before he was done! gabriella was more interested in olivers toys then hers! we had a yummy dinner! all the adults tried out different games on wii fit. it was the hit of the day! when i told everybody it was a family gift they had said "no mom! its a gift you bought for yourself!" i sure wasnt the only one enjoying it in fact i played it the least of anyone! even oliver got in on the fun! he loved becoming a snowball! (when you fall down on the ski jump game you become a snowball.)

CHRISTMAS EVE

well everybody is here (except for megan and travis) and they will be coming on the 28th. its been fun playing with oliver and gabriella. they are in bed and i finally finished wrapping presents. now just fill the stockings and i can go to bed! im really tired and ill be getting up early in the morning! i hope evreyone has a MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!

WIFE TAG

1.shes sitting in front of the tv. whats on the screen? soap operas
2.youre out to eat. what kind of dressing does she get on her salad? blue cheese
3.whats one food she doesnt like? liver
4.you go out to a bar. what does she drink? diet coke
5.where did she go to high school? graham high school- graham,tx
6.what size shoe does she wear? 10
7.if she was to collect anything what would it be? she collects everything
8.what is her favorite type of sandwich? quiznos
9.what would this person eat everyday if she could? pizza
10.what would she never wear? tight fitting clothes
11.what is her favotite sports team? astros
12.what is something you do that she wishes you wouldnt do? go to bed early
13.how many states has she lived in? texas, north carolina, wyoming, colorado
14.what is her heritage? swedish and scottish
15..you bake her a cake for her birthday. what kind of cake would it be? she likes all cake
16.did she play sports in high school? no
17.what does she spend hour doing? blogging

the only way i could get him to do it was to call the questions out to him and then type the answers for him but thats better then nothing! he actually got all of them right! i guess he knows me pretty well after 32 years!!!

Brightly shone the moon that night,
Though the frost was cruel,
When a monkey came in sight
Gathering winter fuel.

Good King Wenceslas
from the Christmas Song Generator.

Get your own song :

GROCERY SHOPPING MARATHON

just got back from the grocery store and 2 hours and $400 later im through shopping until next year!!!! now i can just relax and enjoy my family and thats exactly what i plan to do!!!

A TRIBUTE TO MY THIRD FAVORITE CHRISTMAS MOVIE

CLARK W. GRISWOLD

A TRIBUTE TO MY SECOND FAVORITE CHRISTMAS MOVIE

BUDDY THE ELF

CHRISTMAS TAG #22

another one of lauras tags:
WHAT DVDS WOULD YOU LIKE TO OWN:
1.mama mia including the sing along version-i loved this movie! the best one of the year in my opinion! especially the songs! i sang along at the movie theatre! loud!!! just like i do at concerts! i wasnt the most embarassing person there though! one lady wore her boa and got up and danced during the songs! i was thinking "man! i wish i would have thought of that!"
2.liar liar-probably jim careys greatest! (or at least of the ones ive seen so far)
3.dumb and dumber-this is probably the first jim carey movie i watched and when i found out i loved him!
4.good burger-very corny but i loved it!
gotta go! getting sleepy again! things to do! go! go! go! or maybe ill just take a nap?

CHRISTMAS TAG # 21

im going to try to do lauras christmas tag #21:
WHO WOULD YOU INVITE TO A NONFICTIONAL CHRISTMAS PARTY (AS OPPOSED TO THE FICTIONAL ONE THAT SHE HAS ALREADY DONE):
1.jim carey-he may be the funniest man alive and i think he certainly would liven up a party! maybe we could get him to do some quotes from the grinch movie!
2.mannaheim steamroller-id get them to play some christmas music for us! it would be nice background music while everyone is talking!
3.vince gill-id have him come and sing some christmas carols for us. he has such a beautiful voice and it lends itself well to that kind of music!
4.my dad-he isnt alive anymore but he loved christmas SO much that i would want him to be there! i sure do miss him especially at christmas time! i think christmas and babies were his 2 favorite things! you gotta love a man like that!
5.the fort bend boys choir-i know they are singers too but we need a lot of music and ive heard them a couple of times and they do such a good job!
6.jack canfield and mark victor hansen (the guys who wrote chicken soup for the soul for christmas and all the other chicken soup for the soul books)-they could tell us some heartwarming stories about christmas!
7.our whole extended family on both sides (steves and mine)-it would take a huge place but it would be an awesome group! its not very often that we get all of either side of the family together and weve never had all of both together at once. it would be insane but in a good way!
8.george bush-i may be the last george bush supporter in america but i feel so bad for the way people are talking about him! he has not been a bad president in my opinion and even if you dont agree with my opinion he still deserves respect because he is the president of the united states!! (im stepping down off my soap box now!) id invite him so i could tell him how much i appreciate what hes done for our country and wish him a merry christmas and a happy new year (after he gets out of office because i dont think it can be happy until he does). id also invite other people who feel the same way i do about him if i could find any! he could bring laura and his parents too! i love them as well! theyre all just good people!
9.my best friends evelyn and marcelia-these two have been friends of mine for years! (marcelia since grade school and evelyn since we moved to the houston area). we dont get to see each other that often so this would be a good time for us to get together!
cant think of anymore right now and its getting late.
10.martha stewart-i really dont like martha stewart because she is a criminal but i need somebody to do the food and decorating. i think she could do it without costing me an arm and a leg too! i guess she could stay for the party too because you are supposed to be nice to people even if you dont like them!
i could probably think of more but its getting late and i guess i should go to bed and try to get some sleep. tommorrow will be another busy day since it is the last one before everybody starts coming for christmas!

A GIRL AND HER CAT

emily and hooney under the christmas tree!!!

2008 TAG

JANUARY
who kissed you on new years? steve
new years resolution? probably to lose weight like every year! one year i actually did it!
does it snow where you live? maybe once every 5 years or so. it did snow this year.
do you like hot chocolate? love it
have you ever been to times square to watch the ball drop? no and i wouldnt want to. to many people!
FEBRUARY
who was your valentime? steve
did you do anything romantic? went out to eat probably. thats what we usually do every year.
do you care if the groundhog sees his shadow? i want him to see his shadow because i like to hold off summer as long as possible.
what did you receive for valentines day? a pendant that i bought for myself at james avery
MARCH
are you irish? i dont think so but my sister was born on st. patricks day if that counts!
do you like cornbread, beef, and cabbage? sure
what did you do for st. patricks day? probably nothing
are you happy when winter is pretty much over? absolotely not!!! we have way too much hot weather around here!!
APRIL
do you like the rain? yes
did you play an april fools day joke on anybody this year? i dont think so
did you get tons of candy for easter? well i bought lots of cadbury mini eggs if that counts
do you celebrate 4/20? what holiday is 4/20 besides steves grandmothers birthday?
do you love the month of april? well, i love someone who was born in the month of april-steve
MAY
what is your favorite flower? hydrangea
finish this statement: "april showers bring"......may flowers like me!!!
do you celebrate may 16 national piercing day? i guess i should since i have a total of 7 holes in my ears, but i didnt know about it!
is may anything special to you? my birthday is may 8, natalie and matt got married in may
JUNE
what year did you graduate from high school? 1974
did you do anything fun during this month? went to a beck family reunion, went to brenham and stayed at a bed and breakfast for our anniversary
do you have a favorite baseball team? the houston astros of course!!
JULY
what did you do on the 4th of july? went to a party at the hulses, megans in laws
did you go to the fireworks? yes, in the big city of fulshear where we live
did you blast the a/c all day? yes, just like every other day from april until october!
AUGUST
what was your favorite summer memory of '08? ill have to say 2- natalaie and megans weddings
did you have a sunburn? of course the first time i went in the pool!
did you go to the pool a lot? yes, we have a pool in our backyard!
SEPTEMBER
are you attending college/school? no
do you like fall better then summer? absolutely, although september is still pretty much like summer here!
what happened this month? hurricane ike came to here and i went to dallas!
OCTOBER
what were you for halloween? a 50s girl because steve was a 50s guy to match his car which looks like a hotrod
what is your favorite candy? anything as long as its chocolate!
what was your favorite part about this month? some cooler weather!
NOVEMBER
whose house did you go to for thanksgiving? stayed home and had 3 of my kids and spouses and travis' parents here
what are you thankful for? family, health, living in this country, material blessings
do you like stuffing? i love it!
anything special in this month? i went to utah to visit megan and travis and the election!
DECEMBER
do you celebrate christmas? you betcha! its my favorite holiday!
have you ever been kissed under the missletoe? cant remember
did you get anything special for christmas? i got a bracelet with my grandbabies names on it
what do you want for christmas this year? fossil purse, wii, wii fit
what do you love most about december? christmas spirit, family coming, buying gifts for everybody and watching them open them
TRY IT YOULL LIKE IT!!!!

A TRIBUTE TO THE GRINCH!!!

YOURE A MEAN ONE MR. GRINCH!!!!!






THE GRINCH AND WHO ELSE CINDY LOU WHO!!!! (wasnst that a great pun-who else? and i didnt even realize it until after i wrote it!)

I LOVE THIS ONE!!!! HE LOOKS LIKE HES POSING FOR THE CAMERA
AND SO MISCHEVIOUS!!!
I AM OBSESSED WITH THE GRINCH!!!!!

3 THINGS I LIKE ABOUT MYSELF

i was watching the today show this morning and they said that if you can think of 3 things you like about yourself you will feel better about yourself and you will respond better to others. this is going to be hard but ill give it a try:
1. i am creative
2.i am sympathetic (especially to children and old people. they are so defenseless!)
3.i am loyal
4.i am honest
5.i love my family very much
6.i am determined (if i start something i dont want to stop until its finished. my problem is getting started but once im started watch out!)
7.i am patriotic
8.i love God (i dont always do the things he wants me to though! i really need to work on that!)
9.i am personable. i talk to strangers all the time!
10.i am respectful of others and things
it wasnt as hard as i thought amazingly!! i decided if 3 is good them 10 has to be better! the story of my life!~the rest of my family's motto is "less is better" probably because they are so sick of my "more is better" motto! i hope this whole thing doesnt make me sound egotistical because if theres anything i dont like its a person who is full of themselves!!! i tend to be more down on my self! like ive said before i have poor self esteem. ill let you know if i think of some more. this is a very introspective thing to do and sounds like one of those things a therapist would have you do. i should know. i went to one for 5 years! (probably should be going to one now according to my social worker grad student daughter natalie- although she leaves off the probably!)

I AM A ZOOMBIE

i am a zoombie this morning!!!! i dont know if it has something to do with the fact that i stayed up almost all night saturday night or that i was too tired to take my pills last night before i went to bed.( i deal out my pills for the whole week on sunday and i couldnt bear the thought of having to do that last night). i could hardly keep my eyes open past 7pm. i finally went to bed around 9pm. i cant believe i made it that long! i wouldnt have if it wouldnt have been for steve. i wasnt really ready to wake up when i got up. id love to go back to bed but i have so much to do! the kids will start coming on wednesday! i still have to go to the grocery store. i have laundry to do. i have a drs appointment tommorrow. (i knew that was a bad idea when i made the appointment and did it anyway!) thank goodness i dont have to clean the house! the maid is coming tommorrow but i do have to starighten up a room where i have been dumping and throwing everything so that she will be able to clean it and we will be able to use it when the kids come. (there is a bed in there) im starting to feel overwhelmed just writing about it!! guess that means i need to stop stalling and just get busy!!

CHRISTMAS PROGRAM

i told steve i was coming to his church today because they are having a christmas program. i dont know if im going to make it though because i keep falling asleep!! the caffeine hasnt even helped!!! i need to get up and start moving around!! im going to wear some christmas clothes today! i can even wear a sweater if i want to!!! i took a shower last night which is a good thing because i keep falling asleep and the time to leave is drawing near! i may not even be able to stay awake during the program so i may be going for nothing. i better not sit too close to anybody because i snore! i think quite loudly. (or thats what my girls say) that would be SO embarassing if i started snoring REALLY loud in the middle of the program!!!!

WENT TO BED AT 5AM

finally went to bed at 5am and why you may ask did i get up at 8am? well....someones cell phone kept ringing!!! i got up and found out it was steves. he had left it here. i dont even know how to answer it!! ( i only know how to use my own phone.) now im awake sorta! i went out to the garage to get some caffeine (our coke fridge is in the garage) and "baby its cold outside!" I LOVE IT!!! i went barefooted as usual and i sorta got my toes frozen. (well cold anyway) "I STILL LOVE IT!!!" sometimes it doesnt take much to make me happy!!! (but then other times it takes quite a lot! it just depends on which "mood" im in- manic or depressive) the weatherman was right again!! i was afraid he wasnt going to be when he said it was going to cool off! now if we could only have snow for christmas!!!! i think that might be asking a bit much but i just wish it would be cool!! is that too much to ask for? i think not but i hear that its supposed to be in the 70s! oh well- once again "christmas in the tropics"!

i didnt even realize how late it was!! its not a caffeine thing either!!! i guess i should go to bed and try to get some sleep but i just hate laying awake in bed. i always go to sleep eventually but the in between is awful!! i was up until 3am last night also. (i guess it really was this morning except now its really tommorrow morning......). i dont like laying in bed in the mornings either after ive been woke up. i would go back to sleep eventually then too but i dont like that laying awake feeling then either. it sure used to never bother me! i would sleep til at least 9 or 10 even if i had been woke up. steve likes it when i get up before he goes to work too. last winter when i would get up early enough we would go in the hot tub in the mornings. also if i get up early enough i can see the deer sometimes!! i really love seeing the deer!! sometimes we see them at night too but not as often as in the mornings. we only go in the hot tub when its cold outside so we havent been in it too much this year! who wants to go sit in a hot tub when its hot outside all around you? it helps my arthirits when i go in the hot tub too. i really could use some of that hot water whirlpool treatment right now on my knee!! anytime any of you want to come over and join me come on over! (if its cold outside that is). disclaimer:this invitation is only for people i know. i dont want any perverts showing up over here!!!

YOU KNOW YOURE MANIC WHEN....

im starting to wonder if im doing the right thing by letting out all these inner feelings. when i think about what im about to write i wonder if yall will think im crazy!! but....here goes anyway......dont let me down!!!! i think i may be starting to realize when im manic while its happening not later. which is a good thing i think because then i can do something to stop myself if i start to say or do something stupid!! right now i feel like all is well with the world! i know it cant be that way but i still feel that way! im being very domestic lately! steve is helping me out a lot! im ready for christmas except for a few minor details! ive had company for 3 nights in a row. i used to hate to have company. i always felt like everything had to be perfect and i didnt have enough energy to make everything perfect. it made it too stessful to have people over. it does help that i have a maid now but she only comes every 2 weeks. its enough to keep everything deep down clean but i still have to pick up and straighten up and do all the day to day stuff. i see colors brighter and everything looks prettier. food tastes better. my sense of smell is heightened! i appreciate everything i have so much more. its not a bad feeling but i feel like it cant last. im able to decorate and etc. for christmas. i still feel really tired and sleepy a lot but im able to get these things done because i really want to do them. i wonder if maybe its just the christmas spirit that i talk about so much but i dont think so. or maybe this is just living a joyful life like we are supposed to. a life without depression. depression dulls the senses and makes everything seem negative. or maybe this is just a result of the days that i missed my meds. i really dont know the answer but i certainly wouldnt mind if it stays around for a while!!! i could sure use a break from depression and that gloom and doom lifestyle!!! im kind of mixed up right now to what im feeling. if any of you have any insights let me know. i dont remember when was the last time i felt this happy!! pray that it wont go away!!!

BLOGMANIA!!!

i have a bad case of blogmania! no matter what im doing i always get drawn back to this! i think ive set a new record for the most posts in one day! ive probably also set a new record for reader boredom!!! (at least in this post!) its this pic thing. im addicted! i always knew that blogs were so much more interesting when they had pics but i never knew how fun it was to make them!! now yall are not going to be just hearing about my grandbabies all the time but youll be seeing them all the time too!! (now that will not be boring!)

LINDSEYS TAG

now that i know how to put pics on my blog i can finally do this tag ive been wanting to do since i got it in september!!
MY AGE:

MY FAVORITE OBJECT:


MY FAVORITE FOOD:WHAT I DID TODAY:
MY BAD HABIT:MY MAIDEN NAME:


MY FIRST JOB:
MY COLLEGE EDUCATION:



MY NAME:
WHERE I WANT TO LIVE SOMEDAY:
WHERE I WAS BORN:



WHERE I LIVE NOW:

I IDENTIFY WITH THE GRINCH

ive been thinking and maybe the reason i like the grinch so much is because i identify with him. when i was in school i was thought of as fat. i really wasnt fat then but i believed what people thought about me. i definitely wasnt one of those skinny mini teenagers but i really wasnt fat. i look back on pics of my younger days and i think if only i could be that "fat" now!!! i didnt date much in high school and i had low self esteem. i still suffer with this to this day!! the difference is now i really am fat!! i know that im fat. i am able to say that to other people now but i still dont like it if other people say it about me. in our society fat is definitely not acceptable!!! you cant be pretty if youre fat today! i know its not healthy and i do have health issues that would improve if i lost weight. i probably wont live as long if i dont lose weight. i know what i need to do to lose weight but that doesnt make it any easier. i have been successful at weight loss before so i know i can do it. i lost 70 pounds before on weight watchers but gained it back because of the meds i was taking. i was however maniac at the time and became obsessed with weight loss. oh what a wonderful obsession! if i could only get it back again!! i was a walking commercial for weight watchers! i would talk to anybody who would listen about it!!! i never ever cheated!!! now my obsessions are eating and shopping!!! both have negative results!! why does food have to taste so good and eating be SO enjoyable?? why do i get such a high out of shopping????

ITS FEELING TROPICAL AGAIN

its been feeling tropical again for the last while. im SO ready for it to cool off again!~!!~! this isnt christmas weather!! (well-actually i guess it is for houston). i sweat my head off every time i do anything!!!! im sick of it!!! its supposed to cool off tonight actually but how long will it last this time? i probably wont even be able to enjoy it because ill be thinking about it getting hot again!!! im ready to move to antartica!!!! gripe, gripe, gripe!!!!! just call me scrooge! no the grinch. i like him better!!! at least hes cute!!!

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY GRANDBABIES-

let me tell you a little bit about oliver:

oliver loves animals!

oliver is VERY SMART in fact he might even be a genius!! he loves to read.


heres oliver reading to gabriella! what a good big brother!

now let me tell you a little about gabriella:


gabriella likes to climb!

she also loves snacks! (all food is a snack to her)
gabriella also loves books and likes to be read to!

I KNOW HOW TO PUT PICS ON MY BLOG NOW AND MY DARLING GRANDBABIES!!!!

this is a VERY big deal for me!!!! i have been wanting to know how to do this for SO long!!! people have showed me but i just never really learned. last night i just ask emily one question about uploading pics and it opened up a whole new world for me!! something just clicked and i said i bet putting them on my blog would be a lot like that! i just asked her one question about putting it on my blog and i was on my way!! i feel SO smart now! i just hope i dont forget how!!! sounds like something i would do!
these are the latest pics of my darling grandbabies!!! oliver is 3 now and gabriellas is 1. they are the light of my life!!! being a grandparent is a very,very close second to being a parent!!! in fact it might even be a tie! (its just different so i cant say). i know ive said it before but im going to say it again because this is my blog and i can say whatever i want and also because i mean it SO much!!!! youll never know how great it is to be a grandparent until you become one. people can tell you but you just cant really know! i cant figure out why gabbys pic came out smaller though!!

MORE CHRISTMAS PAST

christmas at our house in sugarland.
this is christmas at nana and pas house in north carolina. (thats megan the rock star and natalie in the background)
these are some of the "christmas in the good ole days" pics. those were the best days of my life- when my kids were growing up. i didnt realize it then. i guess i was too busy! christmas is always better with kids. now the grandbabies are what christmas is all about!

CHRISTMAS PAST

olis first christmas! oli and ella last christmas. same pose as this year. oli christmas 06.

MY CHRISTMAS BABIES

OLIVER AND GABRIELLA

BLOGGIN' FRIENDS

remember how in one of my past posts i said i needed friends? well.... now i feel like i have friends! bloggin' friends! i really feel like i know yall because of this and i feel like we are friends! i never thought when i started this that it would turn out to be a way to make friends! i just realized this recently. im so happy to have all of yall as my new friends. i feel like i could call any of you up and we could hang out. some of you that i knew prior to bloggin' i feel like i know better now. facebook has been another way of getting to know people better. if you arent on facebook you should give it a try!!! hey....its not just for kids! thats what i thought until i found one of my friends from high school was on it and shes the same age as i am! since then i have found out that there are actually people older then me on it!!

THE WEB CAM

weve been talking to oliver and gabriella on the webcam the last 2 days. they seem to love it! its so fun to see them and talk to them. its so much better then just talking on the phone. gabriella laughs and waves. oliver likes to act silly. they are SO cute!!!

CHRISTMAS LIGHTS

so i was ready to give up on christmas lights since its only a week away from christmas but steve just couldnt give up! so emily and bossy got out there and started putting them up today. they got pretty far along before it got dark and they look great!! thank goodness for good ole bossy!!! emily has been wrapping my presents for me too and bossy helped her tonight! i like to wrap presents but when it comes down to doing it i feel stressed! i went back to the dr. today and she said the xray showed that i had arthiritis. just as i suspected! i also had fluid on my knee. since it was feeling better she said we wouldnt have to do the mri right now but if it started doing worse we would do one.

HUBBIE TAG

i decided to do this hubbie tag i saw on randis blog. i like doing them too!
1.hes sitting in front of the tv. what is on the screen? i can only be one of 3 things-sports, news, or politics!
2.youre out to eat. what kind of dressing does he get on his salad? thousand island always!
3.whats one food he doesnt like? onions!!!
4.you go out to a bar. what does he drink? first of all we would never go out to a bar but if we did he would drink diet coke
5.where did he go to high school? manila high school in manila, utah
6.if he were to collect anything what would be? i am the collector in the family and i cant see him ever collecting anything but if he did it would probably be golf balls
7.what size shoe does he wear? 10 1/2
8.what is his favorite type of sandwich? leftover turkey from thanksgiving
9.what would he eat everyday if he could? bbq
10.what would he never wear? an earring
11.what is his favorite sports team? theres no way i can limit it to 1. he likes the jazz, the astros, and byu
12.what is something you do that he wishes you wouldnt do so much? spend money
13.how many states has he lived in? california, utah, wyoming, colorado, and texas
14.what is his heritage? danish
15.you bake him a cake for his birthday. what kind of cake would it be? he doesnt like cake so he would go for an ice cream cake from baskin robbins
16.did he play sports in high school? yes, basketball
17.what could he spend hours doing? playing chess mostly on his computer lately
i challenge all of you to try it!!!

I FINALLY GOT MY RX!!!!!!!!!!

i called the dr. at the hospital and they said he hadnt come in yet. i called his office and got the answering service and left a message. i thought about having him paged but decided to wait until the office opened. i called back when they opened and they said they sent the approval yesterday so i called the drug store back. they said they hadnt gotten it so they would call the drs. office. anyway, i FINALLY got the meds this afternoon! next time i will get my prescription in writing even though its more of a hassle for me. actually nothing could be more of a hassle then this has been! i guess i wont be going to the hospital but sometimes these things take days for the effects to show up so ill wait and see! steve was even beginning to get worried and hes the one that always says he thinks i should stop taking the drugs altogether!! he thinks they are the source of my problems. he told me before he left for work be sure and go get your meds first thing this morning!!! he also called back a few hours later to see if id gone yet. he said he thought i might have gone back to sleep and forgotten to go get them. i wonder why he would think that? maybe since i slept most of the day yesterday? i think ive figured out why i had a headache too. steve asked me this morning if i took my other meds last night. i had forgotten to (well..... actually i slept through the time i was supposed to take them). so i didnt take my blood pressure medicine yesterday. my headache was the pounding kind. im sure it was due to my blood pressure. my blood pressure has been up a little lately anyway. just missing one pill usually wouldnt make it go up but since its been up anyway it might. i go to the dr. tommorrow to find out the results of my xray on my knee and to find out if im going to need an mri on it. its feeling better but still not 100%. drs.,drs.,drs.!!!! do i sound like a hypocondriac? probably!!!

STILL WAITING ON THE DR!!!!

woke up at 6:30am and called the drugstore and found out that the dr. still hadnt called in my refill!!! he didnt call me back last night either. the people at his office said they would have him call me!! im completely at his mercy!!! i wonder if they arent telling him that i have an appointment on the 23rd. you know how they dont want to refill your prescription if you dont come in for an appointment. i think the drug store will lend me a few but they wont do that indefinitely. i know he makes his rounds at the hospital in the mornings and then is in the office in the afternoon. i think im going to call him at the hospital and have him paged otherwise i may end up there! now wouldnt that be a nice place to spend christmas? i know. i shouldnt be thinking of worst case scenarios!! im just feeling panicky right now!!! yall may be tired of hearing about this stuff but it helps me to write about it. i gotta gripe about it to somebody and i dont think my family wants to hear about it anymore. if you dont want to hear it just dont read it. (im not trying to be rude just stating a fact). i got on here to look up the number of the hospital and got side tracked by this so im going to call the hospital now. hopefully ill have better luck this time!

READY OR NOT HERE I COME

im getting really sleepy now! i think the decision has been made for me. IM GOING BACK TO BED!!! hope i can go to sleep when i get there!!!

MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU

i really feel compassion for those of you who suffer with our problem (bipolar or depression) who have young children. i am very thankful that i didnt start to suffer majorly until my children were teenagers. (which wasnt a good time either but is there a good time really?). i cant imagine what it would be like to have to care for young children and feel like this!! its all i can do to keep myself together and sometimes im not so good at that!!!

UP AT 12AM

i went back to bed at 5pm and didnt get up. now im wide awake! i looked at the clock and couldnt believe its was only 12:15am!!!!! i have a headache too and thats very unusual for me. this is my second day without my mood stabilizer because i called in the refill and the dumb dr. hasnt called back the approval yet!! usually he calls it back right away and thats why i dont worry about calling it in so close to being out. guess ill have to change that!! now what should i do for the rest of the night i ask? i could go back to bed but i dont think theres anyway i could sleep. i could do all the things i didnt do while i was sleeping yesterday. thats the one i choose! ha! ha! yea right!!! i could go to katy and get the prescription if the dr, has called it in yet! probably not a good idea. so what do i do? blog all night? i could never think of that much stuff to say although i could probably come pretty close. yall would get very bored reading it though. my headache is better now that im up. pretty soon steve will probably wake up and try to make me come back to bed. for now im just drinking my eggnog and trying to figure it out.

0 ENERGY DAY

im having one of those 0 energy days!!! i got up around 7:30 and had to have a nap by 11:00. the way i explain it is everything i try to do it feels like i have a ton of bricks on my back! my therapist told me one time that this is a perfect description of depression. i havent been feeling that way for a few days and i sure hate going back to it! yesterday was pretty much the same. i dont know what changed. im farther ahead then usual on christmas preparations. that should make me feel up. i know that there really doesnt have to be a reason for clinical depression or anxiey when you have a general anxiety disorder. ive been having a lot more anxiety lately too. not fun! i think i talk about this too much probably so ill shut up. ill blog later when im not feeling so down. its kind of threaputic though i think.

THE TREE IS DECORATED!!!!

we FINALLY got the christmas tree decorated last night!!! we put all the new ornaments on first that i had bought and made because i knew this tree was bigger then we had ever had before so we would need more. well ......im not sure we have room for the old ones! i kinda got carried away buying them. how unusual for me to get obsessive!!! actually emily has made some ornaments this year too! she has really gotten into it! i think she is enjoying it. the last gift got purchased yesterday too. i was planning to put out the stuff i bought yesterday for the front yard but it was SO cold i couldnt bring myself to do it!!! i was SO happy when i went to kirklands and they had all their christmas decorations marked down. there was a santa i had been wanting to buy for the yard but i couldnt bring myself to pay the regular price they wanted for it. they only had one of them and i never expected them to still have it. it was almost half of the origanal price!! i found a snowman for the yard really cheap too. i guess there is something to be said for decorating late!!!

I LOVE MAKING CHRISTMAS ORNAMENTS!!!

tonight steve was gone and i caught up on my soaps and made christmas ornaments! i used to make them every year (since the first year we got married when were living in iran and you couldnt buy them there)but for the last few years i just havent been motivated to do it. it was so fun! its my favorite time of the year to craft! i also did a little more decorating. i used to bake too but i not into cooking much anymore. i did buy a gingerbread house kit that is preassembled you just add the decorations. emily and i are going to decorate it. i made one once from scratch. it was a LOT of work. i dont know that ill ever do that again. i just like the fun part which is the decorating! i have been SO tired today and i dont know why! i took a nap but im ready to go to bed already and its WAY before my normal bedtime!

PUNCUATION

i use exclamation marks and capitalize WAY too much!!! i think that way though! i want to empasize the stuff i feel strongly about!! i used to use too many commas but now ive given them up all together!! they arent near as fun as exclamation marks and capitols!!! ok-now you know ive really gone over the edge when i start writing blogs about things like this!!!

I LOVE EGGNOG

guess i wasnt that sleepy after all! i love eggnog! in fact i may be obbsessed with eggnog! its a good thing it only comes out during the holiday season or else i would be much heavier than i am now! i even have a certain brand of eggnog that i like the best and will drive to a certain grocery that has it even if another one is closer! when the holiday season is over i go to all the stores to see if they have any left. its a sad, sad day when they dont anymore! i have been known to drink other brands but only in an emergency when i cant get the best one. the other ones are too weak and have too much nutmeg! my favorite one is JUST RIGHT. in fact i think ill go have some now! if you come to my house and i share my eggnog with you you will know that you are really special to me!!! as a matter of fact i drink it in place of a meal a lot! kinda like instant breakfast! it does have eggs and milk in it after all! (i wont mention all the sugar & other bad stuff). im the same way about cadbury mini eggs at easter time. another seasonal delight! i wonder if i would like them as well if you could get them all the time? i hope im never able to find out!

BORING

im falling asleep so i guess that means its time to stop! hey if im that bored yall must really be bored! actually im not bored at all. i just cant stay awake anytime i sit down for a few minutes!

I AM IN LOVE WITH THE GRINCH

ever since i first saw the jim carey version of THE GRINCH i am in love with the grinch!!! i love watching the movie over and over. (there arent a lot of movies i like to watch numerous times) there are so many little comments that he makes that you forget about and can love again over and over. jim carey is a genious of comedy and a fellow bipolar person. i say that he doesnt take his meds before he does a movie. he definitely acts very manic in them!! i wish i could make as much money as he does by just acting manic!!! i love everything grinch too! i dont have a lot of them but i do like them. (its a wonder i dont have a collection of them!) i have some grinch pj pants. another christmas comedy that i really like is ELF. these two are definitely must watches every year. on a more serious note....we always watch ITS A WONDERFUL LIFE every year too. this was steves moms favorite christmas movie and she couldnt believe it when we said we had never watched it. whenever we did it became an annual thing. the santa claus one with tim allen is pretty good too. there is a santa clause one with dudley moore that i like too. i especially like the part where they show the north pole and santas workshop.

CHRISTMAS TAG

heres another one of those christmas tags that i saw on a friends blog. i think they are so fun to do. thanks laura for the idea:
CHRISTMAS FOOD:
hot chocolate or spiced cider- i love them both! i can not be forced to choose although i do make hot chocolate more!
ham or turkey- ham is for christmas, turkey is for thanksgiving. doesnt everyone know that?
candy canes or peppermints- "whats the difference" other than the shape, so i guess id have to say i like them both. of course i do. they are sweet. but i dont like the bitter ones!
pumkin pie or sweet potato pie- another one of my "rules" is pumpkin pie is for thanksgiving and i love it! once again of course i like it its sweet! i dont think ive ever had sweet potato pie but i imagine its a lot like pumpkin.
red or green sprinkles- im with laura.....i wasnt aware there was a difference in the taste. once again they are sweet so i like them. are you seeing a pattern here? i think i could say "i never met a sweet i didnt like" and it shows on my body!!!
CHRISTMAS TREE:
real or fake- weve had both. we always had real ones when we lived in wyoming and cut our own. when we moved to texas we had real ones for a while and then decided they were too expensive. last year we got a prelit one. that was pretty handy. the good thing about fake is no mess and they dont get dried out! i miss the smell of a real one though!! this year we have a HUGE real one and i LOVE it!
angel or star on top: star. can you believe i gave a one word answer!
garland or tinsel- neither. we had both when i was growing up but i prefer the focus to be more on the ornaments! also i like the trees best that are so thick you cant really put garland on them.
solid or blinking lights- i like to have both so that the tree is never completely unlit.
PRESENTS:
wrapping paper or bags- i like both but i like bags because they are SO easy. ive set up all night christmas eve wrapping presents before! my kids hate bags! in fact they made an ornament one year that said "no bag christmas" and they hang it on the tree every year. i have abided by their wishes so far since they made that but this year i might rebel against my childrens authority and have some bags just because I LIKE BAGS! they are also great for those gifts that you dont have a box for or are odd shaped.
stocking or presents first: santa and stockings first always!
all at once or in turn- we do it one at a time starting with the youngest first. it makes it last longer and you get to see what everybody else got.
christmas eve or christmas morning- christmas morning
get up early or sleep in- we used to get up VERY early when the kids were little. it was just easier to go ahead and get up then to have them keep bugging us! we would go back to bed later. the older they get the later they sleep in.
i challenge you to do some of these tags. they are too fun!!! maybe i have more time on my hands then most of you though!

HOME AGAIN

im home again but i didnt get home in time to decoarte the front yard and the people didnt come to do the lights!! something really good did get done though. before i left austin i mailed my christmas cards!!! natalie and i made them last night and picked them up at walgreens this morning and then natalie made labels for me so i wouldnt have to address them all!! its the easiest time ive ever had doing them!! only one more present to buy and still 12 days til christmas. i havent done any wrapping yet though and i still want to do some more decorating.

CHECKING MORE THINGS OFF THE LIST

im going home in the morning and we are going to decorate the front yard. some people are coming to put up the lights. hopefully we will get the tree decorated too. ive been buying more ornaments because we dont have enough for our BIG tree. we will probably have to buy more lights too. i think im rambling because i enjoy doing this. its probably getting very boring to read. maybe i should just go do a crossword puzzle or read a book.

2008

after reading my daughter mandys blog i got the idea to write about the events of the last year. the first thing that happened this year is our family trip to hawaii! yes the whole family even baby gabby who was only 2 months old! we had a wonderful time! we went to oahu and stayed near waikiki beach. we went to pearl harbor, the polynesian culture center, and some other places around the island. then we went to kaui and stayed at a beach house. oliver wasnt too crazy about the ocean. he called the waves the water up high. the long plane flights were kinda hard on oliver and gabby. they were hard on all of us actually but it was worth it! natalie got married in may in austin. we had about 30 people staying at our house for a few days. we had a reception for her at our house the week afterwards. we went to utah for a family reunion in the june. there were around 75 people there. it was held at the beck ranch where steve grew up. all of our family was there including our future son in law travis. megan and travis got married in july. they got married at the houston temple and then we had a ring ceremony and reception at the club house at weston lakes where we live. gabriella, our granddaughter turned 1 in october. we went to dallas to her birthday party. we had all the girls home for thanksgiving except mandy. they had thanksgiving with matts family but will be spending christmas with us. oliver should be old enough to really enjoy christmas this year and we are looking forward to spending it with him. it is always more fun to have little kids around at christmas. i am very excited for it to come. im doing a lot more decorating then i have in the last few years. we invited travis' parents to spend thanksgiving with us too. oliver turned 3 the first part of december. we went for his party too. we will be having all the other girls home for christmas too except megan and travis wont be here until december 28. they will stay until after new years. we are planning a new years eve party. it should be fun!

KEEP AUSTIN BIZARRE

well the" keep austin bizarre" was well...... bizarre!!!! it was typical austin! kinda funky! a little too funky for me! one thing i did like though was the jewelry! what jewelry dont i like? i got an adorable hat for gabby too! i hope she will wear it. she wont keep bows in her hair anymore so im not sure if shell keep a hat on. we didnt stay too long though because of my knee and also my other leg that has been hurting for a while if i stand up on it too long. i guess ill be immobile soon!! it was fun spending time with nattie and matt though. we ate at some good places and she helped me order wedding photos from her wedding and make my photo christmas cards. shes even helping me make labels so i dont have to address them. every year i say im going to make my christmas cards and this year emily said she would help me so i thought it might really happen. then every year i dont get around to it and end up doing something else at the last minute! soon i can mark another thing off my list. christmas cards!

IM SO STUPID!!!

i was trying to delete a blog subscription from my google reader and i accidently deleted them all!!!! so that means i dont have anybodys blog address anymore!!!! stupid huh? so could everybody please send me their blog address. you can just put it on my blog comments or my email address is caroldbeck@gmail.com. i went to the dr. this afternoon because ive been having problems with my knee. its been hurting and stiff for about 2 weeks. i could hardly stand up from a sitting position!! the dr. sent me for an xray and said after she got the results from that she would decide if i needed to have and mri. she also gave me an rx for an anti inflamatory and a brace to wear.

COLLECTIONS

i just got my santa collection out and put it in the curio cabinet! i love it! i havent had it out for quite a few years. i didnt realize just how many until i got it out and found a santa i had been looking for for many years. i couldnt figure out what happened to it! i wonder why i didnt ever think of looking in the santa collection box! duh!!! i have a lot of collections! as far as seasonal collections other then the santa collecion i have a snowman collection, a scarecrow collection, and a rabbit collection. i collect willow tree angels, james shore, snowbabies, calico cats, lilliputt lane cottages, roosters, americana, primitives, angels, butterflies, birds, minatures, candle holders, craft supplies (not really meant to be a collection but my kids say it is. i would use them if i had access to them thus the need to get my craft room organiazed!), purses, shoes, jewelry (hey at least i can use the last 3), and many more cool things. some of these are active collections and some are inactive and in the attic (no wonder my attic is full). also i have stuff that kids have given me over the years when i was a preschool teacher and aide. i cant bear to get rid of any of them (these are in my attic as well). the memories of those precious children warm my heart! i think if you get rid of a gift that anybody gives you then you didnt really appreciate the gift. i am so sentimental about some things its pathetic but i think thats better then not being sentimental about anything!!! my children do not share my sentimentality. they are more like their dad. they love to throw stuff away! they have to hide stuff in the garbage can from me when they throw it away! there has to be a happy medium i just havent found it! im not sure if i even want to to be honest! I LIKE MY STUFF!!! unfortunately steve doesnt share this with me. it has caused problems for us. he is a minimulist (or however you spell it! im pretty sure thats not the right way. as i said im losing my ability to spell!) ok this is getting old! if i think of more collections ill let you know. or maybe not! this is making me sound more and more looney!

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!

i tried to read over my last post and it took me a long time to read it because i kept falling asleep! (i know it was long but not THAT long!) i always read over my posts before i send then to make sure they make sense (well as mush sense as they can) and to check for grammatical errors (thats the prefectionist in me!) thank goodness i can go back and correct mistakes because if i was doing this in writing i would have to start over on a new page everytime i made a mistake. i do this even when i make lists! i start all over if i make a mistake! i gotta get up and start unpacking my santas before i go into a comma!!! isnt it easy to lose track of time when you are on the computer?

MANIA AND HOPEFULLY SOME DETERMINATION

ive never talked so much about my mania before (thank you grover girls for making me realize its ok to talk about our condition) and i mostly seem to realize im manic in hindsight! im kinda like that with depression sometimes too. actually i was depressed for most (actually i dont know how much) of my life without knowing it! i just thought that was the normal way to feel since it was the only way i could remember feeling! i was negative and had low self esteem. my mother tells me i sucked my thumb until i was 7 (since i dont remember much about my childhood) then i started biting my fingernails (and just stopped after my nervous breakdown or severe panic attack as the shrinks call it. they say your nerves cant break down! ha! well....mine sure felt like they did and i still call it that because thats they way people seem to understand it). also i was afraid of the dark and still kinda am or at least things that happen in the night like coming upon a snake in the night since we moved out here and ive seen them here! i hate snakes! even pics of them!!!! a little one was in the house one time! i called steve and asked him when he was going to be home because there was a snake in the house! he said put something over it so it wont go somewhere else and hide and we cant find it! can you think of a more horrible scenario? also one got into the pool onetime and when they were cleaning off the vacant lot next door the guy told me he killed about 10 of them! we still have a vacant lot on the other side so i know they are out there just waiting for me!!! so i guess i had insecurity issues from way back. well anyway......i went up to the attic to bring down my santa collection even though my knee is killing me (think its arthiritis-cant spell anymore. i used to be really good at it! honest!) id like to think its determination that made me do it! i used to be pretty good at running long distances, if you can believe it, because i could keep going if the end was in sight! im still that way somewhat. i can keep on keeping on if i know where the end is going to be. i like to think its one of my good qualities! if i didnt have it i would never go in my attic because its is hell on earth even when its cool outside! i come down looking like ive been in a sauna! its a raging inferno but i always come back with what i went up there for!!! i use that as an excuse not to clean it out! dont tell steve!!!! its actually lack of motivation and being overwhelmed that makes me not do it! its one of those "someday projects"!!! hey weve only lived here 2 years last august!!! actually if i havent used it in that amount of time i probably dont need it or at least thats what they say but THEY dont know me! i really NEED it!!! i have issues with getting rid of stuff! i think that if i get rid of it i will need it and i usually do! also i think it goes back to the "depression thinking" that my mother taught me. waste not want not! another factor could be memories of the time when we were raising kids and i didnt have the money to replace something if i got rid of it and needed it or wanted it later!! steve is just the opposite! he loves throwing stuff away! i never let him help me clean out stuff! just get me started and that determination or mania whichever it is will kick in and i dare you to try to get me to stop until the job is done! i stayed up all night cleaning the garage one time! steve tells me thats why i get overwhelmed about a task because i cant break it down into small manageable tasks. i can only see the whole pic and how long and how much work thats going to be! although he likes it when i get that kind of mania sometimes so i will get things done! i guess everybody could use a little mania some times! thanks hon! i really love the manic feeling!!!!!! not being able to slow down! oh and the anxiety! thats my favorite!!!

PLAIN OLD MANIA

now that i read over my posts from last night i realize that i probably wasnt experiencing just blog mania but maybe some plain old mania with a little caffeine thrown in on the side (actually maybe a lot of caffeine! well... just a route 44 diet vanilla coke with extra vanilla and easy ice) and yes i do feel crappy this morning! dont worry ill get over it by 10 and then i wont be wiped out until this afternoon probably around the time i leave for austin! oh well...... lots more caffeine and LOUD music here i come (I MEAN REALLY REALLY LOUD MUSIC)!!!! ill rock all the way to austin! thats what i do to stay awake when i drive somewhere by myself! i bet the car will be pulsating from the outside!!! its actually really fun! i used to not be able to drive anywhere by myself without falling asleep until i found out about this deadly combination!

ONLINE SHOPPING

im also addicted to online shopping. well....actually shopping in general. either i go to town and shop or stay home and shop online. natalie calls it retail therapy. much more expensive then the other kind! maybe i really need to go back to the other kind of therapy to get this shopping thing under control but hey nothing beats a shopping high!!! until steve finds out anyway!

3 AM AND ALL AINT WELL!!

ok so now its after 3 am and im still not sleepy yet. what do i do? go to bed and toss and turn? i keep finding good stuff on the computer to do! tommorrow is going to be crappy! maybe ill fall asleep on the way to austin! i guess id better go try and go to sleep. wish me luck!

BLOGGING MANIA

i think i must have blogging mania!!! i never used to blog even once everyday. sometimes id go weeks without a blog . now i usually blog everyday and a lot of times more then once a day!!! ive always kept up on reading other peoples blogs and reading the comments on mine! nothing makes me happier then to see that someone has posted a new blog entry or a comment on mine! (well except maybe my grandbabies!) is there help for me i ask? i hope not! im enjoying this way too much!!!!

STAYING UP LATE

i like to stay up late! i usually go to bed around 2 am. i am not a morning person and arent truly awake until around 10 am no matter what time i get up. i fall asleep everytime i sit down for a few minutes during the day. but something happens to me at night after steve goes to bed. i am SO wide awake! steve thinks staying up late is the root of all evil! in fact today he said that the bible says it is bad to stay up late and he used the quote "early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise!" emily and i both quickly informed him that was benjamin franklin who said that! oh well, nice try steve! i think he probably knew it already! he didnt seem too surprised when we told him! hey that quote is talking about men anyway. it doesnt say a thing about women! i do my best thinking late at night!

OK! SO I BELIEVE IT NOW!!!

you know how i said i would believe we were having snow when i saw it? well i believe it now! we did have snow today even if it was very wet and it melted before it hit the ground. you gotta take what you can get in texas!!! i went and bought our christmas tree tonight finally while steve was at church. steve said he wanted a BIG one this year. i got one that is about 10 feet tall! it was the biggest one they had and its the biggest one weve ever had. im not going to tell you how much it cost because i just about died when i saw the price. i kept asking the guy who worked there if that was the right price and if they gave discounts! luckily i had talked to steve on the phone and told him how much it was going to cost before i bought it or he would have probably had a cow!!! he said he wanted a BIG tree so he had to pay the price! its going to be SO beautiful when its all decorated!!! we probably wont have enough lights or decorations for it! i love making decorations anyway so i will have to get busy. emily has made a few already. i think we might leave it up until new years this year since we got it so late and megan and travis arent going to be here until after christmas and we are going to have a new years eve party so i want to have the decorations up for that. i want to TRY to get our moneys worth out of it although i dont think that is possible. it smells so good in here with the tree and the cinamon scented pinecones and the nutmeg studded tangerines!!! weve had a fake tree for quite a few years and thats what i always miss with a fake tree- the smell! i never missed the pine needles everywhere though but we have a wood floor where the tree is so maybe it wont be so bad as it was when they got stuck in the carpet! also the fake tree was prelit so steve will have his old job back of putting the lights on the tree. hell probably try to pawn it off on somebody else! now lets see......just get the tree decorated, decorate the outside of the house, finish decorating the inside of the house, finish buying a couple more presents, wrap the presents, get the stuff for the stockings, make the christmas cards, address the christmas cards, order the pics of the grandbabies for the christmas cards, mail the christmas cards, ..............and the list goes on and on and on!!! you get one thing done and there are about a million more to go! oh well, i just always remember that it always gets done by christmas day somehow! tommorrrow i am going to austin for the keep austin bizzare/bazaar (a take off on keep austin weird, in case you dont know austin). im driving there tommorrow night and spending the night with natalie and then we will get up friday morning and hit the bazaar! it should be a lot of fun! i will come back friday because i have SO much christmas stuff to do here this weekend with steve!

8 THINGS

8 things i did yesterday:
1-washed clothes
2-put away clothes
3-straightened up the family room
4-went to an ornament exchange
5-went to the grocery store twice
6-cleaned out the litter box
7-ordered all of the rest of my christmas presents online
8-swept up leaves

8 things i look forward to:
1-seeing my grandbabies again
2-christmas
3-the leaves going away
4-spending time with my kids during the holidays
5-cooler weather
6-having my craft stuff organized so i can use it
7-snow (they say we are having some tommorrow but ill believe it when i see it!)
8-more craft classes

8 restaurants i like:
1-olive garden
2-red lobster
3-sonic
4-chilis
5-outback
6-boston market
7-chuck a rama in utah
8-in and out burger in arizona

8 things on my wish list:
1-to go to heaven when i die
2-to be happy
3-to have goals
4-to lose weight
5-to be respected by my children
6-to live a long life
7-to have a room for all my grandbabies toys and stuff
8-to have friends

8 favorite tv shows:
1-all my children
2-one life to live
3-general hospital
4-the young and the restless
5-24
6-reba
7-american idol
8-dancing with the stars

i got this one off of someone elses blog also. try it. its fun!

i am -loud!
i want- to have goals!
i have -a lot to be thankful for!
i miss-when my kids were little!
i fear-death for me or anyone close to me!
i hear-music in my head all the time!
i search-for a purpose in my life!
i wonder-what will happen to me when i get old!
i regret-not spending more individual time with my kids when they were growing up!
i love-my family!
i forgive-with great diffuculty!
i ache-when i stand up for a very long time!
i always-forget stuff!
i try-to not show my feelings!
i am-creative!
i seem-happy but im not!
i know-i make my own happiness!
i feel-like something bad is going to happen if i feel too happy!
i dance-with my grandkids!
i dream-of different ways to change my home decor around!
i give-hugs now and i didnt always! they are wonderful!
i listen-to small children! they can tell you so much!
i sing-all the time!
i laugh-a lot when megans around and i love it!
i cant-stay off the computer for very long!
i write-a lot of and very long blog posts most of the time!
i cry-a lot! especially when im trying not to!
i sleep-a lot!
i am-depressed!
i see-poorly without my reading glasses when im trying to see close up!
i need-understanding!
i should-lose weight and exercise!
i got this off someone elses blog. try it! its fun! id like to read yours!

CHRISTMAS IN THE TROPICS

just came down from the attic getting down christmas decorations! i thought i was going to die!!!!!! no more decorating until the temperature gets down below 70 at least!!! if you can lose weight just by sweating i must have lost 10 pounds or so!!!

ON THE TWELFTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME:

1- embarassing moment- mine has to do with a restroom too, kenzee! we stopped at a convience store in vernal and the restroom was a unisex one. the door wasnt locked and so i opened it. a man was standing there going to the restroom. he didnt have his pants down and had his back to me but i still wanted to crawl into a hole and die. i turned around and another guy was looking at me. i said "i didnt see anything!". he said "you didnt miss anything!" i guess he was the other guys friend.
2-best friends- my 2 best friends would have to be marcelia and evelyn. marcelia and i have been friends since grade school. she lives in lubbock so we only see each other every few years but when we do its just like always. evelyn was the first person i met when we moved to houston. we used to be neighbors. we dont see each other much now since we arent neighbors anymore and she works full time but we still get together every once and awhile.
3-things i buy regularly- clothes (including shoes, purses, and jewelry), decorating stuff, and craft stuff
4-places i want to go- scandanavia, japan, niagara falls, and on a cruise with just steve
5-goals for the upcoming year- make friends, make and send birthday cards to all family members, organize craft room, take classes, and lose weight
6-things most people dont know about me- i once lived in iran, i am bipolar, i have ocd, i have an anxiety disorder, i have been in a psychiatric hospital 2 times for a few days and i have visited quite a few countries
7-things i would never say- i dont believe in God, i dont love my family, i am a democrat, i dont love my country, i am not a texan, i am not a longhorn fan, and i dont like to eat
8-things i love about the christmas season- being with family, the christmas spirit, christmas music, christmas decorations, christmas lights, wrapping presents, food, and making christmas crafts
9-things i say to my kid(s-)i love you, you are turning into me, well...., just wait til you have kids, we are just going to have to agree to disagree (natalie), i get scared when i go into your room (emily), i love your laughter (megan), you didnt get your organizational skills from me (mandy), and dont tell your dad
10-things i do a lot- sleep, shop, eat, watch tv, talk about my grandbabies, computing (including email, ebay, facebook, and the internet), crossword puzzles, read, crafts, and decorating 11-things i would rather not live without- tv, computer, restaurants, stores, crossword puzzles, books, my bed, crafts, microwave, decorating, and my house
12-people i tag- laura clutter, lori hurst, liz pabst, jennifer ruggles, leslie colbert, alisha oldroyd, laressie mason, april williams, emily beck, randi ostler, erin sheppard, and sarah decamps

CHRISTMAS SHOPPING

i just finished my christmas shopping online last night except for one person!!!! yeah!!~! she hasnt quite decided what she wants for sure. no searching all over town at the last minute! now if they just all arrive on time!!! now on to the decorating!~!!!

A CATS LIFE

sometimes i wish i had the life of a cat! they sleep all day get up and go outside for a little while, eat, and then go back to sleep! maybe its not so great though! that sounds like the life of a totally depressed person! why would i wish for that? thats what i struggle with everyday!!!

THE FALLING LEAVES

i love fall! the weather getting cooler and the fall holidays! i also love decorating for fall! i know fall is supposed to be over but in fulshear, texas the leaves are still falling! dont get me wrong. i love the trees in our yard. that was the first thing that drew us to this house was the beautiful lot with all the trees. when we were having the landscaping done they wanted to cut down some of the trees and i was so opposed they called me a tree hugger! but now as the leaves continue to fall and i have to sweep the leaves that get tracked in at least once a day they are getting a little bit old. i guess i shouldnt complain because steve has to clean the leaves out of the pool more then once day!

ITS THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR!!!! IM NOT KIDDING!

so now that thanksgiving is over ( i planned and decorated for it for weeks) and weve been to olivers birthday party i can start thinking about christmas! i have bought a few presents but i would like to be much farther along! usually we put up our tree up and start decorating the day after thanksgiving but this year megan and travis were here until the next monday so i didnt get started then. tuesday and wednesday i had stuff to do and then on thursday we left to go to dallas for olivers party on saturday. i would not have missed it for the world! it was great fun! it was a noahs ark party! mandy and bossy, emilys boyfriend, made an ark out of boxes. they did a great job! they put all kinds of stuffed animals in it! there was a rainbow on the ceiling made out of crepe paper streamers and a paper cloud with blue streamers hanging down and a bolt of lightning hanging over the ark! we made rainbow cupcakes and i did the noahs ark story with motions for the kids. we also sang a couple of songs appropriate for the occasion. there were thumbprint animals and animal doorhangers to make. emily put animal tattoos on the kids. all the kids were supposed to dress up as an animal. the adults got in on the action too! we had a blast!! ive done a little bit of decorating at home. the living room is done and quite a bit in the dining room. there are things here and there through out the house but only a start. im with lori the worst part is getting it out of the attic and i dont like to bring it all down. i just like to go through the stuff and pick out what i want to use and bring it down. i have so much stuff i dont even use it all every year. so that means a million trips to the attic. i do love decorating and i do it constantly until christmas arrives. i add something almost everyday. i refuse to do the tree by myself though and it gets harder every year to get help! steve used to do the lights and now we have a pre lit tree so hes out of the pic! emily is the only one living at home now and she has better things to do! it doesnt seem right to force her! i long for those years when the girls couldnt wait to decorate the tree! i just handed out the ornaments and they did the rest! its harder to get into the decorating mood though then it used to be though but once i get started watch out! i dont like things with deadlines and i feel like its so much work that you need to have it out for a long time to make it worth all the work! so now the time is drawing near where i will feel like its not going to be long enough to make it worthwhile. of course my grandkids and 3 of my kids will be here so that makes it all worthwhile!!!! theres no way i would have a family christmas without lots of decorations. this is just part of the stress that ive mentioned before that i put on myself. it can take away the joy of decorating if i let it! could this have something to do with being manic depressive i ask? or maybe obsessive compulsive? or maybe even anxiety? or possibly all of the above? my answer is most likely the later!!! anyway gotta go and stop talking about all the stuff i need to do. it just tends to make me more stressed out! im going to an ornament exchange this afternoon and that should be great fun!

TRYING TO MAKE UP FOR BEING A BAD GRANDMA!!!!!

called oliver this morning and they werent at home so i sang HAPPY BIRTHDAY to him on the answering machine. then i tried mandys cell phone and got them on the way to preschool and talked to my boy. i sure hope he forgives me! he didnt seem too upset!!! i love that boy!!! i told him we were coming to his house in 1 day and he was very excited!!

I AM A BAD GRANDMOTHER!!!!

you know how i talk all the time about my grandbabies!!! well- today was olivers birthday. we are going to dallas for his birthday party on saturday. i knew his birthday was on tuesday but today seemed like monday to me all day and of course i was wallowing in my post holiday blues! tonight i was talking about oliver at my group and i was saying he is going to be 3 on .........TODAY!!!! i just realized today is his birthday!!!! i knew it would be too late to call him when i got home because he would already be asleep!!!! WHAT A BAD GRANDMOTHER!!!! im going to call him in the morning and fortunately he is young enough that maybe he wont realize how bad i screwed up!!!!

MY LAST POST

once again i feel i may have come on too strong in my last post! i still mean what i said but i could have said it in a better way probably! please forgive me if i offended anyone!

A DISCLAIMER:

i hope nobody will take this the wrong way or be offended because i really like all the people who read my blog! i just feel like i have to say this. if any of you are being nice to me or trying to be my friend just to try to convert me you might as well forget it! i am not an "investigator". i am not looking for a new religon. after being married to a mormon for 32 years i think i probably know everything about mormonism i care to know. i have felt this way before and its not a good feeling! try to put yourself in my position and think how it would feel!! when i come to the mormom church its not because i am searching for something its to be with my family! i hope you dont all hate me now and wont hold this against me! i really am enjoying getting to know yall better through blogging. please comment and tell me you dont hate me! i just wanted to set things straight and not having anyone getting the wrong idea!!! i still would love to have any of you for buddies!!!

POST HOLIDAY BLUES!!!

megan and travis left yesterday. everybodys gone now and its so quite around here. no laughing (i do miss your laughing meggie), no talking, no games, no football games (although i think we had enough of those to last for quite a while!),no excitement of any kind. just me and the cats! i dont even feel like watching my soap operas! now thats bad!! ive got plenty to do. catching up on the washing, putting all the thanksgiving decorations back in the attic, catching up on the dishes, and etc. but who feels like doing any of that!! (dont worry im doing it anyway) i slept a lot today! dont tell dad! (thats what i used to always tell my girls when i didnt want him to know something and then i would always be the first one to tell him. hey! at least im honest!) the longer they stay the harder it is to let them go! now dont get the idea that i dont want you girls to come because i love it more then just about anything in the world and the longer you stay the better!!! ill gladly endure the blues to get the chance to see you!!!! its SO worth it! and those grandbabies! i could NEVER see enough of them! cant wait to have a million more!!!! get with it girls!!! im starting to feel better all ready just thinking about how fun christmas is going to be and all the years ahead of holidays with my children and grandbabies to come!!! now thats the spirit! i told you i love december even if i do get stressed 0ut getting ready for christmas its always worth it in the end!!! i love christmas and the christmas spirit!!!

I SURVIVED THE WELLSPRING LAKE TURKEY TROT!!!

i did it!!! i didnt walk 3 miles but i walked 1.2 miles which is pretty good for a non exerciser! we didnt ride bikes because there wernt enough bikes. we only have 2 and megan needed one to ride too because she still isnt over her sprained ankle. so we all walked. i was sore the next day but i went in the hot tub and that helped! we had a wonderful weekend! thursday of course we did the normal thanksgiving stuff and watched TEXAS beat oklahoma! YEA!!! afterwards we played games. on friday we went over to the hulses and watched the nebraska game. they won too. jan, megan, and i made some christmas gift tags. on saturday we went to the first colony mall for our annual christmas shopping trip. (steves only mall trip all year if he can help it!) then we ate at the cheesecake factory. yum! yum! afterwards we came back to our house where the guys oded on football and some of us played games. today megan and travis go home. this week is going to be busy too! tuesday steve brother doug will be here. he drives a truck and will have a load to haul here. thursday we will be leaving to go go dallas. saturday is olivers birthday party! he will be 3 on tuesday!