today i spent quite a bit of money. i really had fun shopping since, i haven't felt like going for a while. shopping sprees are a symptom of mania though(as many of you know). it's always something!!!!!! i'll probably be loosing my credit card again when steve finds out the extent of my shopping fun!!!!
still no anxiety and it's almost bedtime!!~!!!! God is SO good!!!!!! i had a lady come up to me in fulshear today and tell me all about how good God was. i was wearing a cross and that got the conversation started. (it really wasn't much of a conversation on my part). i didn't understand everything she said but i really had to wonder if it was a message from God even though i was on exactly the same track today!!!!!
it's 3:25 now and STILL NO ANXIETY!!!!!! i'm must have said "thank you Lord" at least a million times today, because i know that ALL good things come from God!!!! i did a little shopping and got my nails done to celebrate!!!!! steve says i shouldn't think that it's over, because if it comes back i'll be disappointed, but i can't help it!!!! the dr. said it would probably take 10 days to see any results and it's only been 7!!!! i think it must have something to do with all those prayers ya'll have been sending up for me!!! keep it up!!!! i always need them!!!
yesterday afternoon there was a tiny little knock at my front door. i couldn't imagine who it was. most everybody comes to the back door. i went to the door and when i opened it who did i find standing there but oliver and gabriella!!!! they came to surprise steve for his birthday. they had already been to steve's work to surprise him.
our easter was a different one. we only had 1 of our kids here. it was emily, our baby, (sorry emi but you will always be my baby) and her boyfriend. we still had our typical easter dinner (ham, deviled eggs, potato salad, and etc.) just a smaller version. no stuffed bunnies and we didn't even dye eggs. we ate in our easter decorated dining room. (one day leslie you too will eat in one of my holiday decorated dining rooms!) emily and basillio hunted camoflage easter eggs with money inside. (they seem to like money better in their eggs when they get older). it took them a while to find the eggs and they had to have hints for the last few. steve hid them READLY hard, in fact, so hard that he had to write down where he hid them so he could remember. there was still the usual easter candy, too. (reeses peanut butter eggs and peeps and NO i didn't eat any of them.) i did buy an easter dress for myself. it brought back SO many memories of all the easter dresses, easter shoes, and hair decorations i bought in the past for my 4 girls. they all had long hair that i REALLY loved to fix. (sorry nat). easter was such a fun time for me and i think for them, too.
first the good news: i have now lost 26.8 pounds! (that's even after the vacation from weight watchers i took in north carolina!) now for the hopefully good news: the dr. is changing my anti-depressant to one that is supposed to help more with anxiety. he says i should see a difference in 10 days. i want to ask all of ya'll to keep me in your prayers the next 10 days especially!
i'm out on my back porch and it's a beautiful, sunny day!!!! i'm thinking "now how could anyone be anxious on a day like today?" that someone would be me, of course. i'm not anxious right now, actually, but i spend most of my time when i'm not anxious being afraid that it's going to come back. so basically, i'm anxious about being anxious! sounds stupid, i know, but in my mind that's just the way i think! i'd like to change it, but i don't know how. i try to tell myself to enjoy these times, but the anxiety seems to always be in the back of my mind. i wake up in the morning wondering how the day will be. i don't want to get up in the morning, because i'm afraid it will be an anxious day. i do have the pills, but i don't like to take them, because i want to try to overcome this myself. they make me sleepy sometimes and so i'm afraid to take them if i'm not at home, so i stay at home most of the time. (doesn't help to overcome anxiety).if i feel like i just can't stand it anymore, i take one. i make myself suffer more then i have to, because i don't take them.
have you ever had a good problem? well... i do. all of my pants are TOO BAGGY! that's right i said TOO BAGGY! i'm going to have to go look in the attic where all the clothes are stored from when i lost weight last time! WAHOO!!!!
i have been struggling a lot with anxiety lately. that is the reason why i haven't been posting much. i don't like taking my tranquilizers, so i suffer much more then i have to. i'm always afraid of getting addicted, even though my dr. says i never will because i'm so afraid of it. in fact, just writing about it is making me feel a little anxious, so i'm going to stop. i'll post another day when i'm feeling completely better. i'm going to the dr. on monday, so maybe things will get better after that!
oh yea... i forgot to say that i went to 2 museums in franklin while i was there. i went to the historical society museum. it was all about the franklin area and it's people. i found a bit about some of my ancestors there. i also went to the tartan museum. i am of scottish decent. i saw the anderson clan plaid and crest. anderson is my maiden name. i also learned about some scottish history there.
ok.... so we went to north carolina for 2 reasons: 1. to go to the wedding of my son-in-law's brother and 2. to visit with my mother and sister and her family there. it was nice that we were able to do both in the same trip. i left on monday march 23 and returned on saturday april 4. mandy and matt and the grandbabies also went there on the 23rd. i got to spend monday-thursday there with them and my mom and sister's family in franklin, which is where they live. my dad was born and raised there so it's always a little blast from the past when i go there. steve and emily came on thursday. friday was the rehearsal dinner in ashville, which is a little over an hour from franklin. saturday night was the wedding in ashville also at the biltmore estate. i don't know if any of you have heard of it, but it is a huge, gorgeous mansion built by the vanderbilt family. they don't live there anymore. they have tours of it now. it is the largest single family residence in the united states. the father of the bride is the business manager at the biltmore. the wedding was beautiful and we had a great time. our son-in-law was the best man and oliver, our grandson, was a daisy dude (or some name like that) and he threw flower petals along the path of the bride. he was adorable in his black vest, pants, and tie! steve, emily, and mandy, matt, and the grandbabies left on sunday. i just hung out with my family for the rest of the week.
I am a mother to 4 beautiful grown daughters. I have 4 precious grandchildren & #5 on the way! I have been married to my cute & hardworking husband for 36 years. I could not live a day without him! I also have 3 handsome son in laws.