im starting to wonder if im doing the right thing by letting out all these inner feelings. when i think about what im about to write i wonder if yall will think im crazy!! but....here goes anyway......dont let me down!!!! i think i may be starting to realize when im manic while its happening not later. which is a good thing i think because then i can do something to stop myself if i start to say or do something stupid!! right now i feel like all is well with the world! i know it cant be that way but i still feel that way! im being very domestic lately! steve is helping me out a lot! im ready for christmas except for a few minor details! ive had company for 3 nights in a row. i used to hate to have company. i always felt like everything had to be perfect and i didnt have enough energy to make everything perfect. it made it too stessful to have people over. it does help that i have a maid now but she only comes every 2 weeks. its enough to keep everything deep down clean but i still have to pick up and straighten up and do all the day to day stuff. i see colors brighter and everything looks prettier. food tastes better. my sense of smell is heightened! i appreciate everything i have so much more. its not a bad feeling but i feel like it cant last. im able to decorate and etc. for christmas. i still feel really tired and sleepy a lot but im able to get these things done because i really want to do them. i wonder if maybe its just the christmas spirit that i talk about so much but i dont think so. or maybe this is just living a joyful life like we are supposed to. a life without depression. depression dulls the senses and makes everything seem negative. or maybe this is just a result of the days that i missed my meds. i really dont know the answer but i certainly wouldnt mind if it stays around for a while!!! i could sure use a break from depression and that gloom and doom lifestyle!!! im kind of mixed up right now to what im feeling. if any of you have any insights let me know. i dont remember when was the last time i felt this happy!! pray that it wont go away!!!
I am a mother to 4 beautiful grown daughters. I have 4 precious grandchildren & #5 on the way! I have been married to my cute & hardworking husband for 36 years. I could not live a day without him! I also have 3 handsome son in laws.